Raidon, Nick and I

Birthday Wishes

2009-02-01T15:24:00.002+01:00

It's kind of early to wish something for my birthday but since I read this from my sister, well... Here are my birthday wishes

Here are the RULES:1. Make a list of what you want on your birthday...2. The list should be 10 numbers...3. Share it to other people.

Here are my wishes:

1. To graduate as a nurse in 2011

2. To work for HHR where I am currently working at weekends and vacations

3. Go back to Cebu!!! Hopefully soooooooooooon! ;)

4. Go to Italy and Greece

5. Have my own house with a cleaning lady! lol.

6. Buy a Canon SLR

7. Learn how to cook

8. Buy an Audi TT

9. Have a second baby girl (lol)

10. For all of my other wishes (that I can't write in here because I'm only allowed to have 10 wishes) to come true

Please feel free to copy the tag if you like it.

My First SC

2009-02-01T15:13:00.003+01:00

I performed my first subcutaneous injection yesterday! I was scared at first but my patient calmed me down and a nurse was right beside me. I did it correctly! I'm so proud of myself. hehehe.

Now I can do many things other than just giving bedbath and feeding patients.

Psycho at Large

2009-01-28T13:13:00.005+01:00

Kim de Gelder, a 20 year old young man went out with his bicycle last Friday (23 January) and went to a day care center in Dendermonde. He was allowed inside the day care center when he told one of the babysitters that he wants to ask information. The less curious babysitter (less curious because Kim was wearing a black eye-shadow and his long red hair was all over his face) showed him the way inside the day care center. Kim then went from one room to the other stabbing 15 (or more?) babies and babysitters and left the day care center with his bicycle. Two babies and a babysitter died. He then planned to go to another day care center which is just a few kilometers away. The police came on time and picked him up before he could even reach the second day care center.

In an interview, his lawyer said that he (Kim) knows that something gruesome happened last Friday but what exactly happened, he doesn't know. For Kim that Friday was pitch black.

Kim is by the way a psycho.

What is worst is that the law here in Belgium states that you cannot punnish a person who is mentally ill. If he is proven to have psychological problem, he will be placed in a mental institution for 3 or 5 years and then later the court will decide if he'll be allowed to live his life as a normal citizen.

A lot of people are shocked by the news, even I was shocked upon hearing the news. I could imagine the hate and sorrow that I would have had felt if my little Raidon was one of the babies in that day care center.

Results

2009-01-26T19:22:00.001+01:00

I passed! There couldn't be any better news today than this! So congratulations to me! I know I told myself to go shopping today but I changed my mind... I'll do it tomorrow probably. :)

Almost a year old

2009-01-25T12:26:00.007+01:00

Raidon is getting closer to a year old. He's now 8 month old. He's growing really fast, he can now walk when you hold his hand. His first tooth came when he was 6 months and now he already have 3 of them. He's starting to bite our noses here and would laugh so loud if he gets to bite really hard. He knows a lot of tricks already, like opening and closing the drawers and cabinets, taking out all the stuff inside and leaving them on the floor and move on to another place. He once crawled at the back of the washingmachine where the fabric softener was staying. He was so quiet, so we thought he's probably tired or sleeping. When we looked for him, we found him bathing with the fabric softener. Everytime he sees that the door to the kitchen is open, it's like a race for him. He'd crawl as fast as he could to go to the kitchen first because he knows that he's not allowed to go to the kitchen. Whenever he could race me first to the kitchen, he'd go straight to the the trashcan and take all the trash out. lol.

His sleeping habbit is a lot better than he was in the first three months. But he moves too much he'd crawl on top of me or across me with his feet on my face. Unfortunately he still doesn't want to sleep in his own bed but I'm positive he'll someday learn it.

His enormously curious. Everyday it's like an adventure he had to discover. What's under the sofa? What's under the table? He needs to see everything and he needs to touch and pull and drop everything he gets to touch. He tore our photoalbum apart already.

I'm happy my baby is now 8 months old. I can't wait for him to blow his first candle. I'm planning to have a birthday party with clowns, balloons and all. :D It's sad his tita Charlotte couldn't be here when he turns 1 but anyway, they'll see each other one day. :)

...

2009-01-25T12:08:00.006+01:00

My final exams that took two weeks to finish is finally over. I can now breathe and for a long time, I was able to clean our house. I was also able to sleep for a long time.

I still don't know the result of my exams. I hope I passed though otherwise I'll lose my sponsorship and have to pay the school by myself, including Raidon's babysitter :(. I think I did my exams fair enough to pass except for my oral exams in anatomy. I wasn't able to answer one out of four questions. Anyway, I'll know it tomorrow.

If I passed, I'll be doing my duty at the Stedelijk Ziekenhuis (public hospital) in Roeselare for the whole month of February. That gives me a week to get a Hepa A and B and Tetanus vaccine.

If I failed, I'll be missing my school and my classmates. :(

...

2008-12-02T16:26:00.003+01:00

I am another year older. A lot has happened to me this year. I am now a fulltime student, a mama and I am also working for the first time in my life. Now my life is starting to have colors I have never seen before.

Non-verbal Intimidation

2008-10-16T12:54:00.001+02:00

This is what I call non-verbal intimidation:

You call after a person. The person stops and looks at you. Then you start talking to that person. The person's eyebrows start to meet while the eyes starts to grow big and then says, 'WHAT?!?' with an intonation that tells you like, 'What the f*ck are you talking about you st*p!d thing?' (pardon my words). And then you start to cower, you feel small and of course you'll feel intimidated and then before you could even say your next words, your mouth starts to tremble and you begin to forget what you wanted to say. But in the end even when you stammered in between the lines, you were able to say what you wanted to say and that is: "Someone said Hi to you."

But let's just say that the person really just didn't have any clue what you were talking about? Or perhaps does not understand you at all? You'll really never know if this is the case to this story because there will be less words exchanged with the two people involved. The one who cowers will cower and will stay that way.

QUE VER.

The Warm You

2008-10-03T23:32:00.001+02:00

Poem I wrote for the people of Wisterlinde, where I did my first 'stage'.

The Warm You

You are warm people,

who smiles in any circumstances.

You are warm people,

and the rest of the world smiles when you smile.

You are warm people

with infectious smile.

But be not afraid when you smile,

because it makes life so much better.

It helps people forget about their pain

It helps people forget about their troubles

You are warm people

and I am glad I came to know you!

work work work

2008-09-30T22:35:00.005+02:00

I am assigned at the 4th floor geriatry department of Heilig Hart ziekenhuis where there are more or less 50 permanent residents. The age probably ranges from mid - late 50's to late 80's or early 90's? There was a little tour guide of the whole 4th floor, getting to know the people working in that department and so forth.

The moment my teacher left, I directly jumped on the floor and started working. The staff were kind and patient enough to show me what I have to do. I washed a patient together with another student from another class in a Parker bathtub. It's a bathtub designed to meet the needs of patients with limited mobility. I doubt you'll see this kind of tub at hospitals in the Philippines. Anyhow, washing a patient in reality is not the same as what the book says. The book says wear hand gloves when in contact with feaces or any body fluid (i.e: blood, genital fluids, etc.,) but when you start washing a patient or even drying them, it doesn't matter if stool is present. Your immediate reaction would be... do your job as efficient as possible in a much shorter time because you know that your patient is not able to stand any longer and will not wait for you until you will find any hand gloves! You will just start wiping with a piece of cloth on your barehands.

I love the patiënts. I knew that this is what I would love to do. To be with people who appreciates my work even if the next day they won't remember my name or what I did the day before. What matters is that at the end of the day I will feel fulfilled to have known that in my own little way, I have made someone happy and made someone's day a little better if not much.

Since I've never done anything like this before, even if I had a crash course on caregiving in the Philippines, the technic and the materials/instruments that they use here is far too advanced that I don't even know how to use a napkin! I tore a diaper apart thinking I had to pull it so much to get it around the patient. I also learned how I should prepare a sandwich for patient and what is important is that I have to let the patient sit straight when they are having their breakfast on bed! And to not forget that most of the patients have dentures, hence it is impossible to chew solid food without it! If there's an elderly who swears or curse you, I have learned to not take it seriously instead be patient and don't run away from the patient! It's not his/her fault that she/he have dimentia.

More... I feel accepted by the people in the department. There's no feeling of being looked down or feeling of being different. I'm always scared that people will look down at me because I am different. I am glad.

First Duty

2008-09-29T09:27:00.004+02:00

Today is my first duty or 'stage' as they call it in Dutch. I rushed myself in getting ready. I don't want to be late now would I? But when I arrived at school at 10 before 8, I saw my classmates changing into their scrubs already. I also rushed and wore my scrubs. My teacher who will be supervising me arrived and told me that I should have stayed and waited for her last friday because she was going to tell me to come to school at 10:30! LOL. It was also my fault, I went straight at home after class last friday. I was just so tired and had probably just an hour or two of sleep that night. So instead of waiting in boredom at school, I went home feeling a little dismay but thankfully I live 700 meters away. Then I can forget about being laughed at by my classmate and blog my first duty experience. woooohoooo..
I also took a picture of me who is eager to do my first nursing task! LOL.

Duty

2008-09-26T17:07:00.002+02:00

3 days to go and I'll have my first ever nursing duty!!!
So excited!

I Carry your heart

2008-09-19T19:35:00.004+02:00

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Poem by E.E. Cummings.

I dedicate it to my little Raidon, my gift to him now that he's 4 months old. His heart is in mine and mine will always be his.

Scrubs

2008-09-19T13:12:00.005+02:00

I finally got my scrubs today and I'm ready to do my first hospital duty ever !!! I have 3 sets of scrubsuit with my name on it! I will get my hospital ID next week and then I'm ready to go as soon as I will know where i will be assigned. I hope it will be at the hospital 300 meters away from our house and not in some home for old people.

I also got my first Hepatits B vaccine today. I had this vaccine before when I was 7, if I'm not mistaken but like my sister Charlotte, I don't have any Hepa B antibodies. So the doctor decided to give the first shot today and wrote an advise to the school that I should be assigned in a 'safer' environment.

I need to buy new set of shoes!!! :D weeeeeeeeeeeeee...
I'm excited!!! I'll take pictures of me wearing my white uniform. This is like a dream come true!!! I hope everything will go fine. :D

Raidon's Sick

2008-09-16T08:05:00.001+02:00

Raidon have colds. :(

Christmas Party

2008-09-14T22:42:00.003+02:00

School started 2 weeks ago and I'm planning to organize a christmas party for my block. Schools here are not like in the Philippines. They don't have any class president or any student body officers. As one of the students, I feel like it's my responsibility to unite the people in my class and also to enjoy.

If they agree, I plan to invite our block adviser also. There's 13 of us in our block, each week we will give 1 euro to our elected treasurer except when we have hospital duties because then we won't be seeing each other for a few weeks. From this week (hospital duties not included) until the last day of school before we go on Christmas break we'll have 7 weeks class in school. We will then be able to come up with 91 euro enough to buy food. If they agree, I will ask Melanie to dance in class as part of the program and there will be of course games! Now what is Christmas party without MANITO - MANITA? hehehe.. We will have this one too.

Oh I'm excited. I hope they'll think that I have a great idea. hehehehe...

Time for bed... Tomorrow I will have my first test ever in anatomy! wooooooohoooooooo.. lol.... it's about the Cell, Skin and Tissue. O.o I hope I will pass the test though.

Raidon and His Playmates

2008-09-11T19:10:00.003+02:00

Raidon have a good babysitter. I could'nt ask for more. She interacts with the children, lets them play at the garden if the weather is nice and since Raidon is the youngest, she never leaves Raidontje alone inside. She have a diary for Raidon. She writes what they did together in the day, if he drank his milk and so on. In this way, I am rest assured that my baby is safe.

Ying Peng

2008-09-11T12:44:00.006+02:00

I have a friend at school now, Ying Peng. She's Chinese and she's really friendly. She gave me a beautiful set of earings and gives me chocolates and cookies. Being a foreigner in a class of 13 people is not always easy. Although our classmates do their very best to help us most of the time, still the language is quite a big block for us. We sit at the front of the class always so that we can hear the teacher better.

Anyway, I don't have so much time left for me to blog because I just came home for my lunch break and since I rarely eat lunch, this is the only time I could offer to blog. At night I would scan my books, read the lessons that we had at school, study and memorize the human anatomy in Dutch! It's difficult! No one is forcing me to go to school yet somehow I like it! I like reading my books and studying!

Last tuesday we had an acquaintance party which is probably the most boring acquaintance party I've ever experienced in my life! There was a short dull program that was well mostly participated by the faculty and a few from the students. And then they invited a guest speaker who I think is an actor? Anyway he talked about 'COMMUNICATION' Really nothing to do with getting to know and meeting people from school. There was pizza for lunch at school and I don't know if there were drinks for everyone because I was not there anymore.

In the afternoon the students have to go iceskating. Thankfully I was able to excuse myself not to be there because I have to bring Raidontje to the clinic for his vaccines otherwise I would be stuck in another event which I find not interesting at all!

Blah blah blah, time's running! At the cultural center last Teusday morning, Ying and I took a picture.

First Day of School

2008-09-01T23:43:00.001+02:00

First day of school and I'm sick! :(

Onthaalmama (babysitter)

2008-08-30T08:20:00.006+02:00

Yesterday I signed my contract for school year 2008 - 2009. I will start school this Monday already, I am excited but at the same time sad. I will have to leave Raidon to a babysitter. There's nothing to worry about because the government is strict with people working as babysitter. They have monthly unannounced visit to check if the babies are doing well and if the babysitter is taking good care of the children she's attending to. They're not allowed to have more than 4 children in their home and there are standard requirements before they can tend to other people's children, like making the whole house safe for the baby, each baby should have their own bed to sleep on, there has to be a lot of space for them to be able to run around and play, the house should be clean and smoking is certainly not allowed!

There's a babysitter across our house and I went there to ask if she still have a place for one. She seemed friendly but then again I really don't know her so well. After a few months, Nick noticed that the woman spends most of her afternoon outside her house at the corner of the street to gossip with other people while she lights a cigarette after the other. Who's looking after the children then? No one! So I called the office and asked them if they can find me another babysitter around my city because I will not bring my child to that woman. A few days later, an inspector came and took her permit. I don't feel sorry for her. She's paid to take care of the children not gossip!

Another reason why I don't have to worry about Petra is because she lives across my sister-in-law's house and probably 100 - 200 meters away from Raidon's omi and opi. But still, not spending time with my baby is making me feel sad. On the other hand, he'd get to spend his time with other children unlike at home or at oma's. If he's a year older and he can walk already, he can then play and run around with other kids which is a lot better than to have no playmates at all.

Anne and the Interview

2008-08-28T12:58:00.007+02:00

I am about to have my interview at school today, this 1:30 pm but I came there an hour earlier. The faculty were still having their lunch and the woman who was suppose to interview me sent me back home. LOL. So while I'm waiting for time to pass, I might as well spend it blogging than do nothing?

Last night Anne and I chatted. She finally have a flight for Brussels!!! She'll arrive this 3rd of September, next Wednesday and will stay for the next 60 hours. Since I don't know my class schedule yet, I can only hope that I won't have a class in the afternoon on Wednesdays. So I could meet her. I haven't seen her in 5 years! She left for Dubai a year before I got married.

I am happy that her dream finally came to life. She always wanted to be a flight attendant and see the world for free! Well now she's traveling across the world every week or so. I envy her! So I told her last night to stay single for as long as she can. hehehehe... I told her that if she'd marry, she'd then have more clothes and dishes to wash! LOL.

Anyway, I hope my schedule will go perfectly. If not, she'll have to ride a train and come here in Roeselare! wahahahah...

Your Song

2008-08-28T09:46:00.004+02:00

We're planning to have our son baptized this October. He will be 4 months old then. So the other night I busied myself looking for songs that will be played in his baptism. It will be the first time I'll hear a mass since I came here in Belgium. We're all catholics but none of us are really THAT religious.

While searching for a song, I remembered that song from the musical film Moulin Rouge that Ewan McGregor sang for Nicole Kidman, Your Song. I really like the song, mostly because I'm a fan of Ewan but his version is a little too loud to be played in the church. The original version from Elton John is just perfect.

And you can tell everybody that this is your song
It maybe quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind,
I hope you don't mind that I put down the words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

...Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

There will be other songs that will be played too. Like My Wish by Rascal Flatts, Find Your Wings by Mark Harris, the country song Love Without End, Amen by George Strait and the song Little Wonders from my favorite male singer Rob Thomas.

October is still far, so I can still think of another unique gifts to giveaway. I won't be needing much since there'll be just a few of us. Raidon's omi will buy the cake! :D

My Memory

2008-08-22T01:10:00.001+02:00

Title: My Memory
Language: Korean
OST: Endless Love: Winter Sonata (Korean Drama)

My Memory moh doo gee uhk hae yoh geuh soon gahn
noon eul gahm euh myun ah joo jahk eun eel doh boh ee neh yoh
You're far away dah deul soo up neun goh seh
sa rang hahn dah neun mahl doh gee dah leen dah neun mahl doh ha jee moht ha goh

jung mahl mohl laht joh geuh dehl ee luht geh dah shee mahn nahl jool eun sehng gahk joh cha moht het suht joh

ah jik nuhl sa rang hae ee jeh lah doh neh geh goh behk hahl kkeh
I want to love you forever
neut jee ahn aht dah myun ee luht geh nah wah hahm kkeh young won hee

Oh leht dohng ahn geuh dehn nah ae gah seum ae mahn eun shee gahn heul luh doh
ah joo muhl lee ee juh doh sahl ah eet sut joh

jung mahl mohl laht joh geuh dehl ee luht geh dah shee mahn nahl jool eun sehng gahk joh cha moht het suht joh

ah jik nuhl sa rang hae ee jeh lah doh neh geh goh behk hahl kkeh
I want to love you forever
neut jee ahn aht dah myun ee luht geh nah wah hahm kkeh young won hee

English Translation
My Memory At that moment I remembered it all
When I see those memories they seem so small..
You're far away in a place that I can't reach
I can't wait for these words of love to be said

I really was to blame
Will I ever get to meet you again?
I can't even imagine that
I still love you and now I'll confess that to you
I wanna love you forever
It's not too late
Be with me forever

For a long time you've been in my heart
Much time passes and still you're far away, but I will stay alive

I really was to blame
Will I ever get to meet you again?
I can't even imagine that
I still love you and now I'll confess that to you
I wanna love you forever
It's not too late
Be with me forever

Many thanks to RYU for the lyrics!

His First Shoes

2008-08-21T22:51:00.002+02:00

My big boy wearing his first shoes

Fresh Fruit Cereal

2008-08-21T22:11:00.002+02:00

I have a picture of my little Raidon eating his fresh fruit cereal.

Ingredients:
1/4 ripe banana
1/2 freshly squeezed orange juice
1/4 baby cookie

Procedure:
Mash banana and cookie in orange juice.

Babies love this food. It's cheaper, healthier and better than any instant baby cereal you can get in the store. Yesterday he had 1/4 sliced and peeled apple instead of banana. He just loves his food! His first meal didn't go so well but yesterday and today went perfect. He knows how to eat with a spoon already!

My 3 Month Old & Other Stuff

2008-08-19T22:10:00.010+02:00

Raidon turned 3 months today. We don't have big feast each time he turns a month older like what my classmate in college do with her sons but I never forget everytime he turns a month older. In fact, he's always in my mind and heart with every second that passes by. He's getting bigger and taller each day which scares me sometimes because I don't want him to grow fast. He's my baby afterall! But I guess even if he's 25 and married my little Raidon will always be my baby. I will have to be hard on him sometimes because I don't want him to be rotten spoiled like what my mother did to my brother. Will I be a good mother? I don't know but I can only and will always try.

He's 3 months and he can say 'A' and he says it countless times a day. He laughs loudly now and it makes everyone laugh too. He's a happy smiling baby and it makes me wonder if I was the same when I was a baby. Anyway what's important is that everyone adores him. Raidon dislikes loud music from live bands but likes it when Nick changes the channel to JIM. He likes people specially his omi (Oma (grandmother) + Mimi (godmother) = OMI). He also knows how to play with is stuffed toys. I probably said this a lot of times already but I will say it again, He's just the cutest and I love him so much!

His omi and opi (Opa (grandfather) + Pipi (Godfather) = OPI) buys almost everything for him. He's the only baby in the family afterall. Besides, who can resist his ABC (adorable, beautiful and charming) smile? Today his omi and opi bought him a fleece blanket to keep him warm at night and socks. They're the sweetest ever! I love them so much!

3 months today and it's also the first time he ate solid food. Mashed banana, fresh squeezed orange juice and a cookie. It was difficult for him because he doesn't know how to eat with a spoon yet and because he was so hungry already, I mixed his food with his milk and he seemed to like it. Tomorrow he'll eat the same meal again for lunch and I will try to feed him again with a spoon.

He's a month older today. I handsewed a keychain ('R') for him which stands for Raidon. I'll buy a big treasure box later and put all his stuff in there. So that when he's older, I'll be able to show him his first set of clothes, his first spoon, first bottle, first toy and the 'R' will be there too.

Priceless

2008-08-17T15:24:00.004+02:00

This is why I'll always be a proud mom! Moments that I will treasure forever. Priceless.

Mine, All Mine!

2008-08-16T00:46:00.003+02:00

Raidon loves his milk! The moment he was born, it was like he had an alarmclock inside his stomach that alarms every three hours! 15 minutes before milk time, he starts moving his arms and legs making small sounds. If I'm not there to give his milk on time, he would then cry so hard! I had to wake up more than thrice at wee hours just to give him his milk. Think of making milk at these hours and then cooling it then repeat it three times. I did this for about a month. We both slept in the livingroom so that I don't have to go up and down to give him his milk. The one of the many disadvantages of not giving breastmilk.

When he turned 2 months, he started sleeping in his room and started sleeping longer too. He sleeps 6 hours straight at night! From 8 bottles a day (90ml), he now consumes 5 bottles a day (210 ml) and he still loves his milk more than ever!

Today after preparing his milk, I placed his bottle beside him so that Nick will remember to feed him when they come home after dropping me off in the fitness center. When I saw how he hugged his bottle, he was like telling us, MINE, ALL MINE!

My little boy is just so cute!

2008-08-08T07:53:00.000+02:00

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. - Victor Hugo

Black House

2008-08-07T10:02:00.000+02:00

Some 200 - 300 years ago in Amsterdam, poor people painted their houses black because they believed that if you are poor, you cannot afford to have your house cleaned because you don't have the money to keep it clean.

These houses are still present to this very day. In fact, the house where Rembradnt lived was painted in black. I never get the chance to go to his museum (I'll visit it next time) and because I know nada about his life, I think he was one of the poor during his times. I only got the chance to see where he last lived when we went for a bus tour around Amsterdam.

Anyway Rembradt is known worldwide and his paintings are worth a fortune but sadly he never get to enjoy the fruits of his labor. In relation to this, another famous artist, Van Gogh couldn't afford to buy materials to paint at all. He was financially supported by his younger brother Theo.

This made me thought, thank God I'm not an artist.

Re: Voor Gert Steegmans

2008-08-06T14:18:00.000+02:00

Beste Hello

Wat een prachtige foto!! What a beautiful picture!!
We zullen deze zeker aan Gert bezorgen. what a beautiful picture!!
Groeten Greetings
Piet Steegmans

----- Original Message -----

From: nick and lette

To: piet.steegmans@telenet.be

Sent: Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:23 AM

Subject: Voor Gert Steegmans

Beste, Hello,

Wil je dan dit foto aan Gert laten zien alstublieft? Will you please show this picture to Gert?

Bedankt. Thanks.

Raidontje,

My little star

2008-08-01T13:05:00.000+02:00

We went to Aalst last Monday (28 July) to watch the "After Tour de France criterium". The first in 32 years they said. Tour de France winner, Carlos Sastre from Spain will be riding along with UK's Mark Cavendish who was said to be the fastest man in Tour 2008 and the Belgian Gert Steegmans who won the Paris - Champs-Elysees stage of the tour. There were other famous cyclists in the event but we were there mostly to see this year's winner since we couldn't go to France like we did 2 years ago to watch a few stages of the Tour.

There were more or less 70 thousand people in Aalst that day. Bars and Restaurants were open till midnight. The pro category started at 30 mins. after 7 and finished at almost midnight with the expected winner Carlos Sastre. Although I wasn't able to take a picture of Sastre and Cavendish after the race because they went straight to their hotel, I was still able to take a picture of Steegmans together with my little Raidon who believe me stayed up so late just to have that picture taken. He actually likes the attention. After the picture was taken he fell asleep and didn't woke up until 9 in the morning the next day.

We met him a few times before he came

2008-07-30T12:24:00.000+02:00

This is the first time I saw my baby's face. Although it's not a colored photo and it's not really that clear, I was able to see that his facial features were normal. The size of his head according to my gyne was normal. He have two eyes and his nose, well it's not flat. ahahaha...

Looking at this picture and comparing it to his 3D ultrasound picture and his first ever picture when he was born makes it really look him. His round face, big cheeks, cute small chin. When I saw him for the first time, I just knew I wanted to see a closer look at him in 3D and since I live in the western part of Flanders, it's difficult to find a place for 3D scan. I found one in Waterloo but it is 2 hours away from where we live. After weeks of searching, I found one in Kortrijk, C for 9 and for 50 euro, I have 3 + 1 free printed 3D picture and a 4D video of my little angel. Sylvie was also nice and friendly. She took all her time to take good pictures of the baby because I was already 32 weeks far and the baby has grown big inside my womb already. He doesn't have enough space to freely turn and move around to change his position. Sylvie scheduled me for another ultrasound the week after our first appointment and thankfully after nearly 3 hours of searching and waiting until the baby changes his position, she was able to capture a couple pictures of him.

When our little Raidon was born, we knew that it was him already. We met him a few times before he even came to our lives.

Toxo what?!?

2008-07-29T14:41:00.000+02:00

Another year has passed and a new year has come. A new life for me and Nick. This year will surely be different for us because a little angel is on his way to shower our lives with joy not to mention the responsibilities that it brings especially for me, a soon-to-be-mother.

A night before New Year's eve, our family doctor called us and informed that my first blood test came out and that I have been infected with the parasite toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis or commonly known as cat disease which is not dangerous to adults but dangerous for women who got infected during their pregnancy. It can lead to blindness, hydrocephalus and other abnormalities. The test shows no concrete conclusions. It's either I got infected before the pregnancy or within my first two months. It was important for them to be sure so my gynecologists called our family doctor to tell us that she wants another blood test to be sent to Leuven.

I don't know why I got infected with the parasite since I obviously can't stand to be near around cats! It was during my first trimester, I had headache day after day that my eyes became sensitive to light and this is because it is one of the symptoms of toxoplasmosis. I remember having an inflamed lymph node on my neck, just under my ear and I thought it was a cyst because my father had the same lump on his neck a few years ago that turned out to be a cyst.

Nick and I were worried that the baby might be born with some disabilities because no one wants their child to be different from other children. On my second prenatal, my gynecologist sounded so pessimistic and it made us more worried. I couldn't bear the thought that my little baby would be hydrocephalus or be blind when he's in his 20's.

It was not just the toxoplasmosis that was bothering me. Soon I have to go to a medical check up for school before I could do my practicum. I might have to tell everyone but even up to the last minute, I kept everything to myself. At the clinic, I asked the nurse if it's okay for me to have hepa and tetanus vaccines since I'm pregnant. She was surprised. She asked me to take my sweater off so she could see my stomach. So then, I asked if it's possible to do a practicum and the doctor said that I can only look around during the practicum but I can't help or be near to seriously sick patients. I was relieved upon hearing what they said. I don't have to stop going to school -- or so I thought.

I came out of the doctor's office and some of my classmates who were waiting for their turn asked me how many vaccine I had. I replied, none then I told them that I was pregnant. They just couldn't believe it because at 6 months, my stomach was not obvious at all. I knew that I just had to tell my teachers about my situation. I came to school ready to tell my teacher, Ingrid. I was not so worried anymore because the Doctor said that I can still do my practicum. But when I saw her, she said that they still have to discuss about the matter and I will have to wait until then.

She and Hans along with my other classmates congratulated me and it made me feel happy.

The little human inside of me

2008-07-27T14:18:00.000+02:00

December came. My stomach was becoming more visible by the day but I am still able to hide it with my thick jacket which I always wear even inside the class. No one still suspects anything yet. I told one of my classmates and she's been discreet about it but I know that the day will come where I won't be able to keep everything to myself and will be forced to tell everyone especially my teachers about my situation. I just hoped that they'll know after I have given birth and after school is finish. But that's not how it will happen because I was to give birth in May and school won't end until June. Still I continue to go to school and do my best. Waking up at 5 and getting myself ready for school has become dragging but I always find a way to encourage myself to go to school each day.

07 December - my first prenatal visit to the gynecologist. She did an ultrasound and for the first time, I saw the little human inside my stomach. It didn't really look like a human being yet but I can see the spine and the head so well. The hands and legs were still so small and underdeveloped. I wanted to know if it was a girl or a boy. I hoped it would be a baby boy but for Nick, what's important is for the child to grow normally. Since I was almost 5 months pregnant, it was already possible to know the baby's sex. And like what I hoped it would be, I was told that I will have a baby boy and he's growing normally inside my tummy.

We went home happy that day.

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Take note: Never laminate an ultrasound photo! It will turn all black and you will lose the picture. Because I laminated this and a few photos and they all turned to black. This is probably stupid but I had no clue that the end result would be like that. Thankfully I scanned the photo first before laminating it.

This is how it all started

2008-07-27T12:53:00.000+02:00

It was Saturday, 2 days before my birthday when I woke up and noticed that there was a small lump forming in my lower abdomen, more like a small ball. Scared, I called after my husband and let him feel the small ball. He panicked and called our family doctor if we can see him immediately.

During this time it has been 4 months since I missed my period. I didn't worry or suspect about anything because of my irregular cycle. Sometimes I'd have a year of non-stop period and sometimes I'd skip it three to six months or even more. The only thought that I have in mind was that I have cancer because my aunt died from cervical cancer and my mother had a surgery in her cervix too. It could be in the family for all I know and I didn't want to die yet because I have not finished school not to mention I want to work, have a son, grow old and see my grandchildren. In short I want to pass away when I'm old and gray.

We came inside the doctor's clinic and the doctor asked us what was wrong. Nick explained everything to him and the doctor just kept nodding and nodding. I find him strange, I even think he's a Martian! Then he started feeling my lower abdomen and said that there is indeed a lump. He took out an instrument which I don't know what it was at that time and started like listening to the sounds inside my stomach. Then he came to a conclusion and said, "I think she might be pregnant. I can hear a heartbeat. I am 95% sure that she is pregnant. Buy a pregnancy test to see if I'm correct or not."

We went to the pharmacy and bought a Predictor. We didn't even have to wait 5 minutes for the result like what it says in the paper because the moment of truth came out just a few seconds after. It was positive. I was pregnant. I couldn't even believe it myself because my parents kept on telling me before that I'll never get pregnant.

I was happy and yet worried at the same time. I just started school and I was afraid they'd let me stop once they found out that I was pregnant. I didn't want to stop going to school too. For the first time, I was doing something that I really like and get the encouragement, appreciation and inspiration from the people around me. It would be a big frustration and disappointment to stop just because I was pregnant. Still the possibility of me giving up school was not afar. I just had to keep it to myself for as long as I could.

My worried in-laws came to our house that same night to ask how it went with the doctor. I didn't want to worry them about anything so Nick and I told them the good news.

The best birthday present ever!